A bigger plan
The doctor’s words temporarily knocked the wind out of me. I didn’t sleep at all the night before, instead spending the entire night praying that he would say something entirely different.
Just the day before, my wife, Kristie, and I went to the doctor’s office for a routine examination, still nearly a month from the expected due date for our first child. But the doctor noticed a lower-than-normal level of amniotic fluids in Kristie’s system, and the doctor wanted her to spend the night in the hospital to receive fluids.
Most likely, we were told, the level would rise, everything would be fine and we would be sent home. There was a slim chance, though, that the levels would not increase. If that were the case, the doctor would have to consider delivering the baby immediately.
As we drove to the hospital, neither one of us wanted to admit the fear inside us. Not only was it entirely possible that the baby may be delivered a month early, but we just weren’t prepared.
“We don’t even have a car seat,” one of us said – although I don’t remember which one.
That was our way of saying, “We don’t have much of anything.” Some clothes and a bassinet. That was pretty much it.
This couldn’t happen now. We just weren’t ready. This was not going according to our plans.
Ready or Not, Here She Comes
That night, as the sound of our unborn daughter’s heartbeat played on a monitor next to Kristie in the hospital room, I tried to make myself comfortable in an uncomfortable pull-out chair. Not that it mattered anyway; there was no way I would be able to sleep.
For hours, until the sun came up, I prayed that the fluid levels would rise, that the baby would be safer now than ever before, that we would get to go home and do what we needed to do to prepare for the baby’s arrival in a few weeks. I prayed that our plans would work out.
When the doctor came in that morning, I couldn’t believe what I heard him say. He told us Kristie’s fluid level had dropped overnight.
“So we’re going to go ahead and deliver the baby at 2 p.m. today,” he said.
Immediately, I tried to choke back the tears that filled my eyes. I began to pray for safety for my wife and our baby. And I wondered what happened to my prayers from the previous night.
“I can’t believe this,” I silently told God. “We’re not ready! You know this!”
But ready or not, this baby was coming.
Something Bigger
A nurse came in and spoke with Kristie, and while that was going on, I sent a text message to a few people to let them know what was going on and to ask for their prayers. Within several minutes, a few of our friends and one of Kristie’s sisters were in the room with us to give us support.
Eventually, the time came to move to the room where the baby would be delivered, and less than 35 minutes later, we were introduced to our daughter, Kendall.
When news of Kendall’s birth and Kristie’s safe delivery spread, phone calls and text messages began pouring in and visitors began stopping by to see Kendall and us. Some of those people we’d known for nearly a decade, others for just a few months. But all of them were people that we came to know through a common love of Jesus Christ.
I could never express how much it meant to us to have all those people show their love for us.
But, along with the blessing of friendship and family that was shown to us, something else happened, too. All those things we didn’t have began pouring in. A car seat. A stroller. A crib. A changing table and a chest of drawers to hold Kendall’s clothes. A monitor. More clothes than we know what to do with.
My plan was to go get everything. To provide those things for Kendall. But God had another plan. A bigger plan.
God used all those friends and family members – his people – to bless us beyond imagination. He used them to provide everything we needed. He used them as an example of what his love is like. He probably even blessed those people – his people – as much through this as he blessed us.
I would never have thought of that.
A Reminder
God tells us, “My thoughts are not your thoughts; neither are your ways my ways,” (Isaiah 55:8). He made that crystal clear during this process.
It’s amazing how God reveals himself during the most difficult times. At those times, he reminds me how great he is and how tiny I am. And he uses those times to remind me that no matter what happens, living with him – for him – is the most incredible, thrilling thing you can do; a guaranteed way to not waste your life.
Even when I forgot to trust him, God had something huge planned for my family. It’s crazy to think that every time I share my testimony of how I came into a relationship with Christ, I share what Jeremiah 29:11 means to me. In that verse, he says, “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. To give you hope and a future.”
But for a while there, I was too focused on my plans. And as big as my plans were, they never even came close to comparing to his.
“Watch Me Be The Father”
Looking back on things, I can picture God hearing my prayers the night before Kendall was born and saying, “I have something better for you. You be the husband your wife needs right now, and watch me be the Father you sometimes forget I am.”
Now my wife and I have a beautiful daughter, and I could never express how much I love that little girl. The funny thing is, I’m not sure she even knows who I am yet. That’s OK, though. I’m still going to love her with all my heart, delight in her and do everything I can to protect her.
It’s the least I can do. God did the same for me before I knew who he was, too.
And, soon enough, I’ll get to hear Kendall say, “I love you, daddy.”
Mickey and Kristie Seward would like to express their thanks to all the friends and family members who have called and visited us. The baby gifts, the meals, the words of encouragement and the love that has been given to us are almost incomprehensible. We want you all to know that God has used you to bless us beyond anything we could have ever imagined. We love you.
Originally appeared on mickeyseward.com in 2008