Promises kept

Brooke Garwood sat on a couch watching television when a commercial grabbed her attention. Riveted by what she saw, she instantly knew she was called to something big, and something very specific. 

At that very moment, she knew she wanted to adopt a little girl from China. Brooke was just 13 years old.

“I remember telling my mother, ‘I am going to adopt one day,’” Brooke said. “It was a monumental moment in my life.”

That dream stayed in her heart for years, but when she married, selling the idea to her husband wasn’t as easy as she hoped.

“The idea of adoption wasn’t something I had ever internally processed,” Jerrell Garwood said. “It had never been personal to me. The thought that I had the availability to adopt never crossed my mind.”

About three years into their marriage, Brooke and Jerrell attended an international adoption seminar. As they drove home afterward, Jerrell delivered heartbreaking news to Brooke – he didn’t feel led to adopt.

“I didn’t feel that it was God’s timing,” he said. “I think she hated me for a minute there.”

“This idea was such a powerful thing in me,” Brooke said. “I thought we would be on the same page and it would be this perfect little story.”

Several years later, after their son, Tucker, was born, Jerrell eventually came around to the idea of adoption. But when he did, he threw a curveball. Having at one time been stationed in Korea as a member of the United States Marine Corps, he held a love for the Korean culture. He suggested they consider adopting a girl from Korea.

Brooke went along with the idea, but in her heart felt God had given her a specific calling to adopt in China.

“In the back of my mind, I just kept running through the things He laid on my heart so many years ago,” she said. “But, we went ahead and started the process.”

The Garwoods eventually went so deep into that process that they were matched with a little girl in Korea. While it wasn’t exactly what she had planned, Brooke thought that at least this part of the plan was playing out the way she had envisioned it.

Then something happened that nobody saw coming. For months, the Garwoods received photos and videos of Sophie, their soon-to-daughter in Korea. They were sending Sophie information about her new family, too. Then, they found out that Brooke was pregnant.

The pregnancy wasn’t planned, but it was a problem for Korean adoption officials, who enforced a stipulation in the adoption agreement that prospective parents will not get pregnant during the adoption process. Brooke and Jerrell were 100 percent invested in the adoption. They had fallen in love with Sophie and the thought of not being able to adopt her crushed them.

“I was pregnant with Jack, and we fought for Sophie,” Brooke said. “We wrote a letter of appeal to the court system in Korea, but they said no. It was devastating.”

The experience with Sophie did something inside of Jerrell, a self-professed man’s man, a former athlete and Marine who was still apprehensive about adoption, even after beginning the process.

“God softened his heart after that loss,” Brooke said. “I remember being outside and he had tears in his eyes. He said, ‘I’ve fallen in love with that little girl. God’s created this desire for a girl in my heart and in my home.’ Losing Sophie was so heartbreaking, but through Jack, it was obvious God’s timing was perfect.”

•••••••

Jack was born at 6 a.m. By noon he was in a helicopter heading to Dallas. Five days later, he had open-heart surgery. As he was recovering, Jack began to suffer from complications and had to be resuscitated.

“Right in front of us, the doctor begins chest compressions,” Jerrell said. “It was a code blue. Every available hand was on our son. It felt like it lasted for an eternity. We just started praying. At that moment, I knew I had nothing except God. That’s what I said over and over. From that moment, I realized it was my job to be dependent on God’s love.”

“Not long after, I talked with Brooke, and said, ‘Let’s get rolling on this. Let’s adopt a little girl from China.’”

Someone may wait as long as 6-10 years to adopt a child from China deemed “healthy,” according to Brooke. Chinese nationals are allowed just one child by the government, so when they do adopt, “they only adopt physically perfect kids,” Jerrell said.   

Since they had already done much of the initial legwork when they were trying to adopt Sophie, the process was expedited. But since almost all of the current international adoptions in the country are of children with special needs, most adoptions take much less time.

“Because of Jack, we were open to a child with a heart defect,” Brooke said.

Soon, the Garwoods were matched with a girl living in an orphanage who had been diagnosed with a congenital heart defect. Eleven months later, Hattie was home in Longview with her family.

•••••••

Predictably, the transition hasn’t always been easy. Imagine the trauma of trying to adjust to a new language, a new time zone, a new home and a new family. Then, imagine what it’s like to do that when you’re two and half years old.

“She screamed, yelled, bit and kicked,” Brooke said. “It went on for a month, and we went to bed with this soothing worship music playing, and she slowly started calming down. Each night it got a little easier. It would get worse, and then it would get better.”

Hattie and Brooke bonded pretty quickly, but having never spent time around men, Hattie took a little extra time to warm up to Jerrell. That all changed when Brooke had to go out of town for several days.

“I came home and she was all about her daddy,” Brooke said. “It was so cool to see. She’s adjusted now, and I feel like there will probably be new challenges ahead, and we’ll continue to pray over those. Right now, she’s fitting in just fine.”

Especially with her brothers. Jerrell recalled seeing Hattie and Jack in the same room, each doing their own thing. They had an entire room to spread out in, but there they sat, scrunched up together, just wanting to be close to one another.

“I think Jack being just four months younger than Hattie has made the transition easier for everyone,” Jerrell said. “She can see a peer. And whatever goes on in that mind of hers, there is that security blanket. I think it’s really cool. Jack has a sister, Tucker has a sister and Hattie has brothers to take care of her. They all have their own view, but they get to see it together.”

Hattie also gets to see a view with an unlikely local companion. Her best friend from the orphanage in China was adopted by a family in Tyler, as God answered yet another prayer from Brooke.

“I learned from others who have adopted that many bi-racial families deal a lot with identity, because a child looks different than the rest of her family,” Brooke said. “I’ve prayed that she would have our identity in Christ. On the wall in her bedroom is a piece that says, ‘Daughter of the King.’ And there are pictures from China, too, because we want her to know that’s who she is and where she is from. I asked God to bring her someone she could relate to and be with.

“Not only did he supply that, but He placed her friend from her orphanage 45 minutes away! Katie and Hattie can be close to one another for the rest of their lives, they can talk on the phone, they can go see each other when they are dealing with stuff at school, or struggling with looking different than their parents.”

Another miracle occurred not long after Hattie came home. That congenital heart defect she had been diagnosed with as a baby? Turns out it wasn’t there, after all.

“The doctor said, ‘I don’t even see where there could have been anything. Her heart is perfect,’” Brooke said.

•••••••

Jerrell and Brooke are quick to tell families considering adoption that it is one of the greatest things they can do, but it will not be easy, and hardships will come.

“When you open up your home to adoption – and many other families will agree – it gets really difficult,” Brooke said. “It was an eye-opener for me. I went in thinking there would be challenges, but not nearly as many as there were. Our first advice to couples is you have to be praying together, because Satan is coming to attack your marriage.”

“We were oblivious to it,” Jerrell

added. “We thought we were doing what God told us to do, so there would be no temptation or trials. We had no idea how wrong we were. Satan is in your ear because you are trying to do something really awesome.

“Yes, it is hard,” he continued. “But what good character is built out of easy? If you are going to be part of something big, don’t you expect it to be difficult? I wouldn’t be as good of a father or as good of a husband without those struggles. I don’t think our family would have the foundation we have now if it weren’t for those struggles.

“Adoption is the biggest and coolest thing I’ve ever done,” he said. “We’ve really come a long way, and God has really been present through all of this.”

But Brooke and Jarrell are quick to point out that this story is about more than their struggles and their ability to bring home a child. It’s about blessings, and an answer to prayer.

“Adoption isn’t about us bringing Hattie from where she was to under our roof,” Jerrell said. “Adopting Hattie is about me changing, about Brooke changing and the opportunity for Tucker and Jack to see Hattie in our home; that she might look different but that she is loved the same. This isn’t about Hattie changing addresses.”

“We pray that she will see what God has done through all of us,” Brooke said. “Not just ‘Look what God did because he gave us to her.’ He has done so much in us through her. That’s the biggest piece.”

“People often say, ‘She is so lucky,’” Brooke said. “I know they are coming from a good place, but I would think lucky would have been that she would get her biological family and that she would have been able to stay. But she is blessed. We are all blessed, because we are together. That’s the way God wanted it, and what He created it to be.”

“When I see Hattie, I see that God keeps His promises,” Brooke said. “When I look in her face, I pray that this is what she sees even in the midst of trouble or heartache in her life, that she is going to realize why she was adopted and why her birth mom gave her up. I want her to see God continues to keep His promises. I have prayed for this little girl for a very long time, and God not only brought her to us, but he brought her friend, as well. He has done so much to take care of her. I hope she sees that one day.”

Originally appeared in Mobberly Magazine